**SIGH**

Wow!!! time really moved so fast...fuhh...i didn't expect 2010 year is just around the corner, blessing to GOD, 2009 is THE WORST year and it's gonna end very SOON...**wink**

well, today i'm not going to write about the REGRETS i had this year, it was MORE, believe me!! it will be the next next next entry, who knows??!! god knows the best. Recently, there are many things happened; quite unexpected but i would say, predicted and "i know this BAD thing will come".I was born with extraordinary power (sometimes powerless too!!) and well said, mediocre too.

EVERYBODY WAS BORN WITH THEIR SPECIALITIES, so do i...

to make it short, i might be able/sometimes predict BAD things will happen, it can turned up so fast and u may expect "wow, that actually really happen???oh, badass!!" but it can turn up in the other way round too. People said not everything comes as what u expected. I DO BELIEVE ON THAT but sometimes i ignore it too.

As i expected, one of my frenz failed to convince the people he actually/was born to be GREAT leader ( the same level with me, i guess!!!) and that was the first thought i had on him. ( the GREAT leader). Due to misunderstanding incident, he was acting emotionally, didn't replied any messages, frequently sent ANNOYING messages and sounded like THREATEN to us, and so on.

At the last minute, he didn't want to turned up himself and decided not to appear due to his egoism, another commitments and admitted that more contribution has already put in the first place to initiate the program. Seriously, this is really bad mindset and it could not help the situation. WORST than ever as result. that's how i think.

He has been told that his presence is needed here so that more dispute & pending jobs he left can be solve a.s.a.p but still he don't get it. Come on, my frenz!! u are excellent student with GREAT pointer but how can't u understand the simple thing about people's feeling. I admitted, he did so much for the program but he's not willing to let people knows his hardwork. That's why this thing happened. **sigh**

Now, he's not turned up and expected to held the meeting very soon in the next semester. I don't think he may get the same co-operation, same friendship, same smiles and so on. Well, it's easy to decide but the consequences, u will bear it along your life journey and people will not believe anymore in your principles. not anymore!!

He did answered "he confused about those stuff being throwed to him" and he lost the intention to come here to clarify and convince the team. HOW GREAT LEADER HE WAS. Thx a lot frenz and u killed my respect to u due to your egoism.

We are not perfect and i always know that...so do i....

WHAT WAS I THINKING ABOUT THIS?? **sigh**The truth was i'm already EXPECTED this might be happened in the future, some resources did told me how this fellow turned down some people and didn't keep his promise. I BELIEVE it's becoming more OBVIOUS and the true colours has revealed itself. **sigh**

I thought different colours, different races, different religions might give some positive tunes to the REALITY scene but that is not what i expected. One of my closed frenz told me, dun expect to much to him coz the result is not the same as what u want. She's right!!! Absolutely!!

The great power that i possessed might be guidance for me not to put 100% trust to the people closed to you. Even they are your family members, closed frenz or "wanna be" frenz and so on coz most of them are the same. Should i stop trusting people around me or just ignore it?? that depends how it influencing my life.

As conclusion, as for myself, do not put 100% trust to the people closed to you or people u care about ( they might turn up to be ur enemy!!), second, prediction and instinct, both are good ones and can protect us from harm myself, good prediction can avoid u some bad consequences and lastly, the decision to quit might be near than i expected. SOON.

FED-UP with unexpected result

another semester to go, another troubles to overcome...

S%$# through this week, UNFORTUNATE weeks entire my life...unexpected result with more STUPID surprises...i can't really stand anymore this "dramatic" situation...really...really can't anymore!!!

As everyone being SELFISH due to dean list addiction or fever, i'm feel the tense coz i'm not one of them. This is what we used to called +ve jealousy. I've grown tired with this. PLZ STOP BEING SELFISH. Not everyone is experiencing the way it supposed to be.

as for me: This is how i really felt right now, i dun really care what you guys thinking?? why should i care?? now i'm acting SELFISH too

i'm said : "how should i be patience and accept such unexpected result?? plz tell me how should i keep myself from not doing any sins/mistakes if this things always keep playing around my life??? i'm so fed up with this whole thingy..."

enough for now, i need to breath fresh air....instead of UMP's air...UMP is already polluted with SELFISH minded people.

THX again god coz again you make me tumble, crumble n crush down.....~F#$%~

~wonder WISE~

I admitted the way of expressing thought would be different coz different people, different ideas, different in every ways, it's hard to find the common things unless he or she is your twin, most likely you will find the similarities but still the reality, we are the DIFFERENT person. I think, to differenciate the thoughts, read their thoughts (it could be blog or else) and able to to define whether they able or not to show their sense of maturity. Here. This is my goal of maturity.~everyone is familiar with it~

This is another issues, to crack yourself into another characters due to fitted yourself into the society would not be WISE decision coz CHANGE can't be force and we as human lack of sanity. Seriously, i don't like to be the typical malay guy where you just talking about your lust and activities you've done in your life through the blog. That's why i prefered to be something else. I'm not the guy who tend to make the common tasks everyday. Guess, be DIFFERENT, that make you different from others.

Priority, everywhere we go, we do find some difficulties in deciding what's next to do in our life. Is it easy to decide your own priority?? as easy like PCI device, by plug in the data into setpoint, gain, reset and everything related (THIS IS chemical engineering subject yer!!). Indirectly, YES it is. We should start to think about the what's the next action to do in life, thinking about the advantages, long term effectiveness, disadvantages, and the important one, IS IT follow your heart's decision?? if you do, then set the goal. Easier said than done. I'm also gasping for air to think about it but it is worth to think now before both eyes are closed in the future.

Who's at RISK???!!

Who's at risk?? Yeah, probably u will thinking, either cancer case or H1N1 cases erupted a few weeks back and made total 70 death out of Malaysian's population. That's really amusing BREAKTHROUGH recorded by Malaysia so far, those cases gradually increase per day. Why it continuously haunted and killed human among us?? mmm..definitely, there's no concrete evidence to prove BUT somehow, lesson learned to us especially Islamic community. FORGET ABOUT H1N1 CASES, let's get through what am i'm going to talk about today. It's about WHO'S AT RISK??

Are we in RISK?? yup especially MEN who face in midlife crisis, such as squandering their retirement fund, buying expensive car, getting hair transplant and chest wax (hoho..i dream that!!) OR reverting to the youth by staying out late and flirting with women half ages than yours. But even it manifest something BIG that change your life, a man in midlife definitely is in turmoil.

Marriage breakdown: due to many factors

According to studies over mental health, depression rate rises in the 35 to 55 age group, it's not just mental illness but men's physical health also deteriorates. The funny thing are men who always stripped of their superman trunks when they realize they aren't immortal. Undeniable sign that life is getting at the "pointy end" usually get highlighted by life events such as job loss and or marrage breakdown. More questions arise on, are men prisoner to their hormones?? IS it much the same way like women can be disturbed by menopause???

According to Professor Robert McLachlan, director of Andrology Australia, dispute the existence of the male menopause altogether. ''Male menopause is a nonsense term,'' he said. ''It's been conjured up partly for marketing reasons, but in reality men can't have a menopause because they never menstruate.'' But still obesity or diabetes, can cause testosterone level fall faster than normal, beware of it, somehow men will feel better while we addressing this issue, at least.*grin*

Men's depression : How should we face it??

The crisis can hit at any times - the mid-twenties, pre-retirement, and retirement phases are the peak times too. Not too forget that women face the same thing when their role change as chidren are born or leave home. I think sometime, we always seeing adults with very high expectations of happiness and personal life satisfaction plus we've easily dillusioned by not achieving the goal. This is hard even i'm personally think we should think further.

Even midlife crisis that we faced now, it's actually opportunity for us grow. Men learn how to explore their life in valuable meaning. BUT if they don't listen to their inner message, usually they will acting out the streotypical midlife behaviour like crack down their marriage for a younger woman. One way to dealing with the mental distress that i've seen so far is to medicate the depression. Many men counseling themselves to give them permission to acknowledge, they are at crossroad and to dream of what else could be there. Sound like weird but it's the truth.

The key is communication, said Anne Hollonds of Relationships Australia NSW. ''All of this is better dealt with in a well-functioning partnership,'' she said. ''From the very earliest days you should be working with your partner on building the sort of relationship that will cope with whatever ups and downs life brings.''

Find nice place and meditate yourself, that could help to relieve the stress

As conclusion, i think men who in midlife crisis should try to grow in the problem they faced, and support is really needed by them as hope they can cope with crises much better in the future.:)